The deepest passion of every human being is
to love life, to love God, and to love people.
Where did my passion go?
We are all born with a passion to love God and people and to live with enthusiasm. Loving imperfect people, however, is always, eventually, painful.
The most common reaction is to close our hearts and love people solely on our own terms. While this path brings safety, it also suffocates passion. Most of us have purchased emotionally safe lives, but paid for it with hearts that are closed, musty, and waiting to come to life.
A far less common response to the pain of relationship is to open our hearts and learn to love people surrendered to God. This path is filled with legitimate suffering to be sure, but is also the only sure path to a life of purposeful passion. This path requires wisdom and skill.
How do I recover healthy passion in my marriage?
There is no better place to rediscover passion than in marriage. Most of us marry people who initially create deeper pleasure than we have ever experienced, only to leave us in deeper pain than we can remember. The gold of a passionate life can only be mined by skillfully moving into the pain and emptiness of marriage. Most of us need some guidance and skill here.
How do I cultivate healthy passion in my children?
Children are born with a natural and healthy passion for life. The challenge is to move children from the pursuit of self-centered passion to the pursuit of passion that flows from selflessly loving other people. How do we do this? The first challenge is to teach children how to work with their Sexuality, which I define as their core longing to love and be loved that reveals the life of God.
A second strategy is to teach spiritual disciplines to our children.
How do I mentor my teenager in living with healthy passion?
Teenagers are all about awakening to their core passion for love. Teens flourish when parents transition from dictators/managers to mentors. Teens can be mentored to seek healthy passion through a 4 step process.
Timothy F. Hogan, Psy.D. PLLC
(Practicing in Southeast Michigan)